Narcissism is a term often thrown around in casual conversation, but what does it actually mean? To define “narcissistic” accurately, it’s important to step beyond pop-culture stereotypes and explore the deeper psychological and behavioral dimensions. This article will provide a clear, non-stigmatizing explanation of narcissism, outline its traits, and explain how understanding these behaviors can lead to personal growth and healthier relationships.
- What Does It Mean to be Narcissistic?
- Defining Narcissistic Traits
- Why Do People Behave in a Narcissistic Way?
- How Dysfunctional Narcissism Affects Relationships
- Taking the Next Step
What Does It Mean to be Narcissistic?
The term “narcissistic” describes an excessive preoccupation with oneself, often to the detriment of relationships. Narcissistic people tend to be attention-seeking, entitled, and exploitative.
When someone is described as “narcissistic” it means that they have:
- A distorted sense of self-importance, and
- A disregard for how their actions affect others.
Narcissistic people have an insatiable need to reinforce their own superiority—an almost compulsive craving for recognition. This drive can lead them to manipulate individuals and entire social circles in their quest for dominance.
Someone who is narcissistic typically enters relationships with a primary focus on self-affirmation and validation, rather than a genuine desire for reciprocal connection and intimacy. Their relationships are often transactional, ending once the other person no longer serves their ambition or self-interest.
Defining Narcissistic Traits
It’s important to remember that narcissism is a trait that exists on a spectrum. While it is often linked to narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), many people exhibit narcissistic traits without meeting the criteria for a clinical diagnosis.
- Grandiosity – A distorted sense of one’s own importance, abilities, and accomplishments. This may present overtly or covertly.
- Megalomania – A fixation with unrealistic fantasies of attaining immense success, power, beauty, dominance, brilliance or acquiring the ideal partner(s).
- Superiority – A belief that they are special and unique. A conviction that they can only be understood by or should associate with other special or high-status people (or institutions).
- Need for adulation – A craving for constant admiration and praise from others to reinforce their sense of self-worth.
- Sense of entitlement – An unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment or compliance with their whims.
- Exploitative of others – Taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends, often without regard for the feelings or needs of those they exploit.
- Low or absent empathy – Unwillingness to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. Difficulty authentically connecting with others on a deep emotional level.
- Envy – A tendency to be envious of others’ attributes, successes or possessions, or a belief that others are envious of them.
- Arrogance – Condescending, patronizing, dismissive, or disdainful behavior towards others.
- Fragility – Criticism may feel like a personal attack, leading to defensiveness or withdrawal.
- Excessive self-focus – Prioritizing their own needs and desires over others.
The phenotypic expression of narcissistic traits is characterized by significant inter-individual variability, with not all traits being present in every individual. In other words, the expression of narcissistic traits is highly variable, with individuals exhibiting different combinations and degrees of these characteristics.
Why Do People Behave in a Narcissistic Way?
Narcissistic behaviors can be understood as a defense mechanism against profound feelings of shame and inadequacy. The roots of shame are often unique to each person.
For some, this type of defensive narcissism emerges as a coping mechanism in response to childhood adversity and resulting insecurity. In these cases, excessive narcissism is like a shield that helps the individual feel better about themselves, even if it hurts others.
Dysfunctional narcissism is an adaptation that can develop in response to:
- Unresolved Trauma – Narcissistic behaviors can serve as a protective mechanism, protecting the individual from vulnerability or perceived rejection.
- Childhood Neglect or Overpraise – When emotional validation is inconsistent, it can hinder the development of a stable self-concept, leading to a reliance on external validation.
- Societal Expectations – Cultural emphasis on individual success and appearance can sometimes promote and reward narcissistic tendencies.
It is useful to see dysfunctional narcissism as a way some people try to survive. With the right support and guidance, people with subclinical narcissism dysfunction can learn healthier ways of coping and build stronger, more fulfilling relationships.
How Dysfunctional Narcissism Affects Relationships
People with narcissistic tendencies tend to put their own needs first, which can make relationships difficult. Their partners, family, and friends might feel marginalized, ignored, and frustrated because narcissistic people don’t always consider others’ wants, needs, or feelings.
However, it’s important to remember that people with sub-clinical degrees of narcissism can change. In other words, some people with narcissistic tendencies can learn to build healthier relationships. This can be achieved by:
- Building self-awareness – Understanding themselves and recognizes how their behavior affects others.
- Developing empathy – Learning to understand and care about the feelings of others through active listening.
- Addressing insecurities – Dealing with any underlying issues that might be fueling their narcissistic behaviors.
While challenging, some narcissistic individuals can improve their relationships. This often involves transitioning from emotional immaturity to a more mature emotional state. This transition may include connecting with their emotions, understanding how their behavior impacts others, and learning to behave in a mature, responsible, and considerate manner. Effective treatment often requires addressing comorbid conditions like depression, anxiety, and substance use disorders.
Taking the Next Step
In this article we’ve unpacked what it means to be narcissistic and learned that excessive narcissism is shame-based and can be adaptive. We’ve also learned that for people with subclinical levels of narcissism, there is hope for growth and change. The first step is recognizing these behaviors and understanding their impact.
Narcissistic Abuse Rehab provides specialized a coaching service for people who are ready to explore how narcissistic tendencies may be affecting their life and people navigating relationships with narcissistic people. Through our coaching you will discover a practical and empowering path forward by:
- Uncovering the roots of the behavior
- Developing emotional intelligence, and
- Achieving lasting and meaningful change
Understanding narcissism doesn’t have to feel overwhelming or judgmental. If you’re ready to start your recovery journey, book a free consultation today.
Photos by Deposit Photos.