Flying Monkey Destroyed: Vanquishing The Narcissist’s Enablers

How is a flying monkey destroyed? It’s a question that frequently crosses the minds of people trapped in the cycle of narcissistic abuse. Flying monkeys, ever the dutiful extensions of the narcissist, operate with chilling efficiency. They discredit, re-traumatize, and subject the targeted person to secondary victimization.¹ These individuals insulate the abuser from accountability. The flying monkey ensures that truth remains buried and consequences never occur. Yet in their blind allegiance, flying monkeys do more than perpetuate harm on the victim. They unwittingly stunt the narcissist’s capacity for growth and evolution². The ripple effect of this dysfunction extends far beyond the individual. Their enabling behaviors corrode social structures, normalizing harm, and fueling cycles of toxicity that reverberate through generations.³

How can a flying monkey’s influence be dismantled? Understanding and analyzing the origins of narcissistic abuse dynamics—the framework shaping the ‘flying monkey’ concept—provides valuable insight.

In this article you will learn:

• What are Flying Monkeys?
• Why Are Flying Monkeys Loyal to Narcissists?
• How Is A Flying Monkey Destroyed?
• Summary
• Further Reading
• Flying Monkey Quotes
• Bibliography

What are Flying Monkeys?

A flying monkey is an enabler of emotional abuse and an enforcer of the narcissist’s agenda. They also shield the narcissist from accountability for their acts of aggression.⁴ The term is often used in the narcissistic abuse recovery community and popular psychology to describe people who are manipulated by a narcissist to act on their behalf.⁵

Flying monkeys may show up as rumormongers and saboteurs. They may also act as proxies of the narcissist to perpetuate emotional abuse.⁶ In some cases, flying monkeys may not consciously be aware that they are being used as instruments for manipulation.⁷ However, in many instances, a flying monkey knowingly enables the narcissist’s destructive behavior.⁸ Either way, their meddling antics invariably circumvent any chance that the narcissist take accountability and grow from the experience.⁹

Why Do Flying Monkeys Enable Narcissists?

Many people who end up in the flying monkey role succumb to the influence of their own pride.¹⁰ The narcissist seduces them into a folie à deux–a shared delusion–by offering the illusion of heroism.¹¹ For a brief, shining moment, they are led to believe they are the narcissist’s chosen confidant and rescuer.¹² They are lavished with the narcissist’s intoxicating attention.¹³ All of this, plays to the flying monkey’s own narcissistic grandiosity.¹⁴

Enabling the Love Bombing Phase

In the love bombing phase of the narcissistic abuse cycle, the flying monkey bolsters the narcissist’s façade. They often do this by lending false credibility. For instance, the flying monkey may fabricate stories of the narcissist’s single status. They may also extol the narcissist’s virtues to mask their numerous shortcomings, ultimately transforming deception into apparent truth.

Enforcing the Devaluation and Discard Stages

During the devaluation and the discard phases of the narcissistic abuse cycle, the flying monkey actively undermines the victim. During this stage they may act as an informant and enforcing the narcissist’s agenda. The flying monkey may contribute to the isolation of the victim by creating a dispute. They may also contribute to an existing conflict between the victim and their support system. The flying monkey is also prone to spread rumors about the victim. They can play a pivotal role in assassinating the victim’s character as part of the narcissist’s smear campaign.

Facilitating the Hoover Maneuver

Flying monkeys can play pivotal roles when a narcissist wishes to reengage with their victim through the so-called hoover maneuver. They may play the sympathetic friend to the victim and monitor them on behalf of the narcissist, gathering intelligence and minimizing the narcissist’s past transgressions. They might act as a go-between, relaying messages between the narcissist and the victim.

The Flying Monkey Origin Story

The concept of flying monkeys comes from the L. Frank Baum children’s novel, ‘The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.’¹⁵ It tells the story of Dorothy Gale’s dramatic foray into an enchanted fairyland. A tornado causes her house to land on Nessarose, the Wicked Wicked of the East.¹⁶ As the Winkies rejoice over the demise of their oppressor, Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, appears to claim her late sister’s magical ruby slippers to consolidate her dominance in the realm.¹⁷ However, in an unexpected turn of events, Glinda, the Good Witch of the North, intervenes and casts a spell placing the coveted shoes on Dorothy’s feet. Thus begins Elphaba’s vendetta against Dorothy in the Ozian saga.

In her effort to retrieve the ruby slippers and become omnipotent, Elphaba commands her army of flying monkeys to terrorize Dorothy, thwart her from achieving her goals, and retrieve the ruby slippers. The Wicked Witch of the West uses the flying monkeys to abuse Dorothy by proxy.

In the real-world, enablers of narcissistic abuse exist within a similar power dynamic. For this reason, the term flying monkey is used to describe them.

What Caused Elphaba To Attack Dorothy Gale?

Before examining Baum’s theory on how a flying monkey is destroyed, it’s essential to understand why Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, unleashed her flying monkeys against Dorothy Gale in the first place.¹⁸ To Elphaba, Dorothy wasn’t just an obstacle—she was a direct threat to her identity and status. In the eyes of Glinda, the Good Witch of the North, Dorothy’s kindness and empathy made her a far more worthy steward of power, a stark contrast to Elphaba’s notorious reign of control and intimidation.¹⁹ Faced with the possibility of being eclipsed, Elphaba did what all fragile tyrants do—she waged war.²⁰

From Elphaba’s perspective, sabotaging Dorothy was not merely an act of malice—it was survival. Elphaba feared Dorothy and envied her virtues which caused a deep narcissistic injury. Most of all, Elphaba resented the powerful gift of the ruby slippers bestowed on Dorothy by Glinda. As is the case with many narcissists, what Elphaba could not possess, she sought to destroy.

Like Dorothy, many who are targeted for narcissistic abuse remain blind to their own power, oblivious to the unsettling truth that the narcissist may, beneath their bravado, feel threatened by them. They fail to see that the relentless efforts to undermine them are not merely acts of dominance but of fear—an anxious scramble for control disguised as superiority.

What do the Ruby Slippers Symbolize in ‘The Wizard of Oz’?

When Glinda tells Dorothy that she has always had the power to go home, the ruby slippers become symbols of Dorothy’s inner strength, self-reliance, and untapped potential.²¹ It is not the ruby slippers that grant her power, but rather the belief they inspire in her own innate abilities. Like a key unlocking a door that was always there, the ruby slippers serve as a catalyst for self-discovery, revealing that Dorothy already possesses everything she needs to shape her own destiny.

This symbolism resonates beyond the narrative, mirroring the ruby slippers—both literal and metaphorical—that people cling to in their own lives. Being believed and understood by flying monkeys, closure provided by the narcissists, a sincere apology—these experiences often serve as external affirmations of the strength we struggle to recognize within ourselves. Just as Dorothy must ultimately realize that her power does not reside in the ruby slippers but within her, survivors of narcissistic abuse may reflect on the moments when they, too, have sought validation outside themselves, only to find that their resilience, wisdom, and recovery were always theirs to claim.

Examples of Flying Monkeys

• In Henry James’s novel Washington Square, Mrs. Pennington, driven by her romantic fantasies, acted as Morris Townsend’s flying monkey.
• In the throes of her surrender to the forces of evil, the nanny Mrs. Baylock functioned as Damien Thorne’s flying monkey in the 2006 film, ‘The Omen.’

Why Are Flying Monkey’s Loyal To Narcissists?

According to Baum, the actions of flying monkeys are not necessarily personal. They are obedient to whoever is the power holder within their hierarchy.

Baum wrote that flying monkeys recognized a magical golden cap as the ultimate symbol of power. In the ‘Hidden History of Oz: An Introduction to Oz Before Dorothy,’ author Tarl Telford reveals that Baum’s notes detail the cap was created by Gayelette, an enchantress at the Ruby Palace.²² Whoever wore the golden cap had command of the Flying Monkeys and could ask them to do their bidding, whether for good or for ill.

Survivors often describe secondary-victimization as more painful than the first instance of narcissistic abuse. It’s hard to make sense of the flying monkeys aggression when you have done them no harm. It can be helpful to recognize that their behavior is not about you, it is about their survival within their social circle.

How Is A Flying Monkey Destroyed?

In the The Wizard of Oz, Baum writes, “Dorothy went to the Witch’s cupboard to fill her basket with food for the journey, and there she saw the Golden Cap. She tried it on her own head and found that it fitted her exactly.”²³

In other words, Dorothy was always destined to hold power. This is evident not only in what she is given but in what she instinctively claims. First, Glinda entrusts her with the ruby slippers. This is a deliberate bestowal, recognizing Dorothy’s latent strength.²⁴ Then, in an almost fateful act, Dorothy unwittingly seizes another symbol of authority, Elphaba’s Golden Cap.²⁵ It slips onto her as though it was made for her. This is a quiet yet undeniable confirmation that leadership, despite Elphaba’s desperate psychological warfare, was never truly her’s to keep.

Dorothy Mistake Was Being Blind To Her Own Agency

However, the true power of the golden cap’s power remains lost on Dorothy–until the Queen of Mice reveals its significance.²⁶ With this revelation, a profound shift takes place. Dorothy, now fully away of the authority she wields, effortlessly commands the army of flying monkeys, and their recently attacks come to an abrupt halt. In a striking turn of events, the very forces once deployed against her now become her escorts as the flying monkeys carry her to Emerald City and where she is made a Princess of Oz by Ozma, Queen of the Realm.²⁷ This is a fitting testament to Dorothy’s newfound command over her destiny and the forces that once sought to undermine her.

The moral of Baum’s story is that the solutions to our deepest struggles reside within us. Dorothy, once an ordinary soul, triumphed in a fierce power struggle against the most fearsome adversary in Oz. Using tactical acumen, she built a network of genuine allies. Dorothy’s innate kindness and capacity to build meaningful connections allowed her to unlock her full potential despite Elphaba’s aggression.

Ultimately, Elphaba’s worst nightmare came to fruition: Dorothy, in a moment of unyielding courage, fully embraced her own power. In that transformative instant, the flying monkeys shifted their allegiance. They are no longer instruments of oppression but the devoted heralds of Dorothy’s newfound hegemony.

Summary

Flying monkeys, driven by their own insecurities and ambitions, may be determined to pull you down. But your strength lies in the choices you make. Their aggression reflects their internal turmoil, not your worth.

In The Wizard of Oz, Dorothy recognized this truth. Dorothy didn’t waste her energy trying to convince the flying monkeys of Elphaba’s flaws. Instead, she focused on building authentic connections with people who truly believed in her. She remained unswayed from her purpose by the relentless attacks from both the narcissist and the flying monkeys. Dorothy chose to gravitate toward allies who celebrated her potential. In doing so, she demonstrated that reclaiming one’s agency renders flying monkeys powerless. This transformation is captures by the symbolism of the golden cap. In this way, the flying monkey is destroyed.

While flying monkeys may never become true friends, their influence vanishes the moment you assert your inner authority. Your energy is better spent on personal growth, recovery, and connecting with your destiny. Flying Monkeys are drawn to, and ultimately submit to, people who embody genuine power. Dorothy never sought validation from her detractors; instead, she seized control, embraced her destiny, and radiated purpose. Her journey on the Yellow Brick Road ia marked by her purposefulness. Dorothy sets unshakeable goals, maintains her productivity, and nurtures meaningful relationships. These acts are the very essence of real-world ruby slippers.

If you are struggling in your own healing journey and would like to learn more about our narcissistic abuse recovery coaching services, I invite you to book a FREE 15 minute consultation with me.

Flying Monkey Quotes

Bibliography

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