Flying Monkey Narcissist Meaning

Flying monkey narcissists are among the most insidious manipulators—combining blind loyalty with ruthless self-interest. They act as enforcers for other narcissists while pursuing their own agenda of validation-seeking and social climbing. Smear campaigns, gaslighting, and toxic social dynamics are often the hallmarks of encounters with this type of individual. Understanding their tactics is key to safeguarding your wellbeing.

In this article you will learn:

• What is a Flying Monkey Narcissist?
• What is a Flying Monkey?
• What is a Narcissist?
• How Flying Monkeys Operate
• Signs of Flying Monkey Behavior
• Real-World Examples of Flying Monkey Narcissists
• How to Protect Yourself from Flying Monkey Narcissists
• Summary

What is a Flying Monkey Narcissist?

Flying monkey narcissist (noun): is a term used to describe a narcissistic person who takes on the flying monkey role. This is an individual who not only serves as a flying monkey—manipulating others on behalf of a more dominant narcissistic—but also exhibits narcissistic traits themselves.¹ They encourage perpetrators of abuse and shield them from the consequences of their behavior.

Unlike a typical flying monkey—who may be either a hapless pawn or a willing participant—a flying monkey narcissist is an entirely different breed of manipulator. They do not merely enable abuse; they revel in it, wielding deception and cruelty as tools for their own advancement. For this type of person, conflict is not just a means to an end but a source of exhilaration, a chance to relish their proximity to perceived power. The mere association with a dominant narcissist flatters their own sense of importance, allowing them to imagine themselves as indispensable players in a grand, high-stakes game.

But their true addiction lies in the spectacle of destruction—the quiet thrill of controlling narratives, dismantling reputations, and orchestrating suffering with impunity. It is this potent mix of self-interest, sadistic pleasure, and unshakable allegiance to power that makes the flying monkey narcissist one of the most dangerous figures in the theater of narcissistic abuse.

What is a Flying Monkey?

Flying monkey is a term used in the narcissistic abuse recovery communities and popular psychology to describe people who are manipulated by a narcissist to act on their behalf. These individuals may spread rumors or carry out emotional abuse at the narcissist’s bidding—sometimes without fully realizing they are being used as tools for manipulation. The term has its roots in the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz, where the Wicked Witch commands winged creatures to do her dirty work. In the context of narcissistic abuse, flying monkeys serve a similar function: they act as enablers of emotional abuse.²

Flying monkey is a term used that generally describes someone who, knowingly or unknowingly, enables the destructive behavior of a narcissist.³ Synonyms: enabler, hatchet man.

Within narcissistic abuse dynamics, it is commonly used in reference to enabler’s in an abuser’s social milieu who perpetuate harm and shield the abuser from consequences, thereby impeding their personal development. The flying monkey is an individual who is all too willing to be swept into the intoxicating fantasy crafted by a narcissist.⁴ The tantalizing prospect of basking in the bright light of the narcissist’s influence—of being the chosen confidant, the indispensable ally—feeds their own narcissistic grandiosity. The narcissistic, ever the virtuoso of manipulation, seduces them with the irresistible lure of heroism: an invitation to play the gallant rescuer to a figure of power.⁵

Flattered by this anointment, the enabler embraces their role with zeal, turning their hostility upon the very person who has suffered at the narcissist’s hands. In doing so, they become more than a mere accomplice; they are the narcissist’s instrument, a proxy wielded with precision. So beguiled is the flying monkey by their newfound significance that they fail to see how deftly they, too, are being controlled. Gaslit and triangulated against the victim, the flying monkey mistakes servitude for loyalty, cruelty for righteousness.⁶

This dynamic reveals not only the narcissist’s formidable capacity for psychological warfare but also the flying monkey’s own dysfunctional narcissism—a willingness to forsake truth for the heady yet flimsy illusion of importance.⁷

Examples of Flying Monkeys

• Rose McGowan says Harvey Weinstein did not respond to her accusations directly. She alleges that he had his flying monkeys hire Black Cube to undermine the publication of her book.⁸
• Most people don’t realize it, but in the film ‘Mean Girls,’ Cady Heron was Janice Ian’s flying monkey.⁹
• My twin brother Chucky said he had my back but it turns out that he was our older brother Dick’s flying monkey.

What is a Narcissist?

A narcissist is someone who exhibits traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or strong narcissistic tendencies, including grandiosity, lack of empathy, manipulation, and an excessive need for control and admiration. Narcissists often exploit those around them for personal gain, using charm, deception, and coercion to maintain dominance in relationships.

Narcissistic people are skilled at appealing to narcissism in others as a means to recruiting them into their cause.

Examples of Narcissists

• Casey blames their spouse for their affair because Casey’s dysfunctional narcissism leads them to believe they can do no wrong.
• “In the 2015 film ‘My King,’ Vincent Cassel plays a narcissist called Georgio Milevski.”¹⁰
• When I texted my narcissistic partner that I was in the hospital, (s)he told me (s)he was going to Las Vegas with Morgan–the workmate they told me not to worry about.

How Flying Monkey Narcissists Operate

A flying monkey narcissist is not merely an enabler but an opportunist par excellence—melding the blind allegiance of a sycophant with the cold-blooded self-interest of a narcissist. Rarely are they content to be mere instruments of another’s will; rather, they operate with a keenly honed agenda of their own, seeking to climb the social hierarchy by ingratiating themselves with a dominant narcissist.¹¹

Unburdened by scruples or empathy, these individuals execute cruelty with chilling efficiency, whether by amplifying the abuser’s lies, dismantling the victim’s credibility, or orchestrating their own brand of psychological warfare. To them, morality is an inconvenient abstraction, discarded in favor of proximity to power. Their loyalty is not derived from genuine devotion but of calculation—an unwavering commitment to securing their own place within the dominant narcissist’s inner sanctum, no matter the human cost.

Some ways they operate include:

• Emotional Exploitation: The flying monkey narcissist tends to employ manipulative tactics, simulating empathy and mirroring the victim’s emotional state to establish trust, subsequently utilizing this trust to gather and relay information to a more influential narcissistic figure
• Double Manipulation: Despite their allegiance to a higher-ranking narcissist, they are inclined to betray all sides for personal gain.
• Gaslighting & Triangulation: These individuals function as agents within the dominant narcissist’s divide-and-conquer strategy, disseminating doubt and fostering interpersonal conflict among targeted individuals
• Smear Campaigns: These individuals propagate false information, motivated by a dual agenda of serving the narcissistic figure and enhancing their own social standing.

Signs of Flying Monkey Narcissist Behavior

Here are some behaviors commonly seen in people who are flying monkeys:

• Acting as the narcissist’s emissary – Flying monkeys can also take on the role of the narcissistic person’s proxy, acting as their ambassador to carry messages to the recipient of the abuse. They may also negotiate or aggress on the narcissist’s behalf.
• Turning a blind eye – These individuals are indifferent toward the narcissist’s aggression to the primary and secondary victims.¹² Whether out of willful blindness or self-serving complicity, they dismiss the abuse, rationalizing it as deserved or necessary. Their silence is not mere passivity; it is endorsement.

• Vouching for the narcissist – Flying monkeys excuse and justify the narcissist’s behavior. If the narcissist commits a crime, the flying monkey provides them with an alibi whether it is true or false.

• Smearing the recipient of the abuse – Flying monkeys participate in character assignation. They echo the narcissist’s talking points without verifying it. They don’t bother to seek out the recipient of the abuse and listen to their side of the story. Flying monkeys are instrumental in narcissistic scapegoating, i.e. smear campaigns, isolation, and DARVO.

• Data mining – Flying monkey narcissists frequently assume the role of covert operatives, executing their duplicity with meticulous precision. One of their most insidious tactics is the feigned friendship—approaching the victim under the guise of concern, only to extract confessions and vulnerabilities with practiced ease. Every revelation, every unguarded moment, is swiftly ferried back to the dominant narcissist, weaponized for future manipulation. Their allegiance is never to the truth, nor to the person confiding in them, but to the power structure they seek to fortify—and, of course, their own ever-advancing position within it.

Real-Wold Examples of Flying Monkey Narcissists

• Workplace Bullying: A power-hungry employee aligns with a narcissistic boss, spreading lies about coworkers while secretly vying for their position.
• Family Toxicity: A sibling who both enables a narcissistic parent and manipulates family members to maintain control and favoritism.
• Divorce and Custody Battles: An ex-spouse who teams up with a high-conflict narcissist to alienate the other parent while also pursuing personal revenge.

How to Protect Yourself from Flying Monkey Narcissists

• Recognize the Pattern: Understanding their tactics helps you disengage before they cause damage.
• Set Strong Boundaries: Keep interactions minimal and refuse to be drawn into their manipulation.
• Avoid Emotional Reactions: Narcissists and their flying monkeys feed on reactions—don’t give them the satisfaction.
• Build a Strong Support System: Trusted friends, therapists, and support groups can reinforce reality and provide guidance.
• Document Everything: Keep records of interactions, especially in legal or workplace settings, to counter false claims.

Summary

A flying monkey narcissist is among the most insidious of manipulators, seamlessly blending the unwavering obedience of a flying monkey with the calculated malice of a narcissist. Their loyalty is not to truth or justice, but to power—and, ultimately, to themselves. The surest defense against their toxic influence is early recognition and disengagement. Do not allow yourself to be lured into their manifold psychological traps. By setting strong boundaries and prioritizing your emotional well-being, you strip them of their power. Refuse to play their game, and you reclaim what they seek to steal—your autonomy, your peace, and your sense of self.

How Narcissistic Abuse Rehab Can Help

If you or a loved one is ready to break free from a toxic relationship and reclaim your life, Narcissistic Abuse Rehab is here to kick start your recovery journey. We craft tailored solutions that support your unique path to healing, offering empowering one-on-one coaching sessions every week. Our world-class coaching services employ effective, evidence-based strategies to help you rebuild your inner strength, reconnect with your purpose, and achieve your recovery goals. Experience online support that empowers you to overcome past wounds and embrace a fulfilling future. Book a FREE 15-Minute consultation today.

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