Signs of love bombing often marks the first stage of the cycle of narcissistic abuse. People with narcissistic tendencies frequently lavish excessive affection, attention, and gifts on their romantic partners. What may seem like a whirlwind romance and profound devotion, conceals a more calculated intention—manipulation and control.
Manipulative people use love bombing to quickly build emotional dependence, only to withdraw that affection later, leaving the recipient of the abuse confused and distressed. Love bombing is reminiscent of fattening livestock for consumption in that manipulators use it to inflate their target’s emotional investment in the relationship. Because love bombing mimics genuine affection, it can be difficult to recognize, especially for those unfamiliar with the tactic.
To learn more about love bombing we turned to relationship coach Ingrid Sthare, BCC, ACC, CTLC of Relationship Coaching & Coupling. Ingrid has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, and Best Life. Here is her expert advice on how to spot the signs of of love bombing, protect your emotional well-being, and break free from this toxic romantic relationships.
Narcissistic Abuse Rehab: What are manipulative people trying to accomplish by love bombing their romantic partners?
Ingrid Sthare: The initial love bombing phase is to reel you in while engulfing you to learn all about you. Narcissists want to see how far you’ll go, breaking boundaries, and ignoring that [the behavior] is too much.
Narcissistic Abuse Rehab: Please share a dead giveaway for love bombing.
Ingrid Sthare: After bombarding you with attention, they will typically withdraw, leaving you wondering what you did wrong and the chase is on – if you let it.
Narcissistic Abuse Rehab: Narcissists practice ghosting strategically. What happens if you dismiss them when upon their return and reject their efforts to chase you?
Ingrid Sthare: If you don’t give chase, the narcissist will have to ultimately find other supply. But not until after they drop off your favorite flowers in person in the middle of an important meeting with a client.
Narcissistic Abuse Rehab: In your expert opinion, Ingrid, why do narcissists love bomb their targets?
Ingrid Sthare: Narcissistic people love bomb as a means to an end. To one day have all of the energy placed squarely back on them.
Narcissistic Abuse Rehab: Can you explain why the love bombing phase is considered part of the narcissistic abuse cycle?
Ingrid Sthare: Initially, narcissists want to know all about you, especially your weaknesses! But they also want to know some things you really like such as your favorite flower or song, so that they can reel your narcissistic supply energy back when it wanes.
Knowing all about you means spending a lot of time with you and breaking your boundaries such as taking time from work or not seeing friends so you can see them.
It will be fun and exciting, hopefully mixed in with gut instincts that this person is almost trying to consume you.
Narcissistic Abuse Rehab: Please share a tell tale sign of a love bombing narcissist that most people aren’t familiar with.
Ingrid Sthare: Even their body language is invasive. But notice if you lean in towards them, they’ll lean back.
