Knowing how to answer your child’s questions about a narcissistic parent is essential to their healthy development and wellbeing. The reason for this is that narcissistic abuse commonly falls under the umbrella of domestic abuse in families. Raising children in an environment where domestic abuse is normalized can seriously impact their physical and emotional functioning. Research shows that exposure to domestic…
Entrapment-Based Relationship
Entrapment-based relationships refer to partnerships where one individuals is confined due to manipulation tactics used by a controlling partner. The entrapped person is conditioned by the controlling person to dread the consequences of exiting the relationship, as the controller has demonstrated the dire consequences they will face should the leave.
Controlling people who cultivate entrapment based relationships often subject their victims with threats about how they will “pay” should the abandon the relationships. There is a spectrum of consequences that ranges from humiliation (i.e. character assassination, revenge porn) to extreme acts of violence (i.e. femicide, familicide, murder/suicide).
Uninformed bystanders are often ignorant about the manipulation tactics used by controllers. Therefore they are prone to victim-blaming, and frequently ask, “Why doesn’t she just leave?” without understanding the reality of the psychological terror victim-survivors experience in entrapment based relationships. For context, a child dies every six days in the context of child custody disputes. These acts of filicide are intended to punish victim-survivors for leaving entrapment-based relationships. The most dangerous time for any survivor of coercive control is leaving the relationship.
In such relationships, the party feeling entrapped often dreads the consequences of leaving, as the other party may resort to punishments and cruelty as a means of maintaining control.
Breaking free from such a relationship requires support and intervention. Victims can seek assistance from friends, family, or professional counselors to understand the dynamics of the relationship and explore strategies for establishing boundaries and regaining control over their lives.
On September 15, 2020, Hawaii became the first US state to adopt legislation against Coercive Control. Governor David Ige signed into law a historic amendment expanding the definition of domestic abuse to include “Coercive Control between family or household members for the purposes of insurance and protective orders.” The bills were supported by the Hawaii State Commission on the Status of Women as well…
On September 29, 2020, California became the second state in the USA to adopt coercive control legislation. State Senator Susan Rubio‘s Coercive Control Bill was signed into law by Governor Gavin Newsom. “I thank Governor Newsom for signing this bill. My hope is that it empowers victims to come forward, and it becomes something that our society understands and recognizes as domestic violence,” said…
I guarantee there is an entire generation that will instantly relate the word isolation to the 2020 COVID-19 crisis. I do not. I will not. Every time I hear that word, my past haunts me. Images flash in my mind. But they are not of the present social distancing, wearing a mask, quarantine, and antibody testing. The images brought to my mind…
CO-PARENTING WITH A NARCISSIST is often said to be impossible. A popular quote by A. Price asserts that “A narcissist will never co-parent with you. They will counter parent. They don’t care about the emotional damage that the constant drama inflicts upon the children as long as it causes emotional damage to you.” A distinguishing feature of narcissistic family dynamics is…
IT IS NOT UNCOMMON FOR NARCISSISTS to manipulate others into relationships by making fraudulent claims about who they are, what they stand for, and by mirroring the goals of the targeted individual. They deliberately make promises they don’t intend to keep and spin webs of deception for the sole purpose of exploiting the target and their resources. In popular psychology,…
CHILDREN CAN BE TARGETS for coercive control in dysfunctional families, according to Dr. Evan Stark, author of the book Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life. Research studies show that the coercive control of children occurs in 45% of families where domestic violence is practiced. It is used as part of an abusive partner’s wider campaign of intimate partner…
A PATHOLOGICAL NARCISSIST HAS MASTERED the art of inflicting psychological devastation without ever raising a hand. Their skillful manipulation of people’s perceptions and emotions leaves a trail of bloodless crimes in their wake.